


Hazardous To Your Health

by December Orchid



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-08-05
Updated: 2010-08-12
Packaged: 2014-03-30 20:19:14
Rating: M
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,560
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6209140/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1988672/December-Orchid
Summary: Brian returns from his "vacation" in "Ibiza" to find that Justin didn't live up to his promise of being there when he got back. When Justin finally turns up, he breaks things off with Brian, leaving him to wonder exactly what happened during his absence.





	1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I do not own any of the characters in this story. I just merely used my warped brain to twist it around to create something that _I_ at least find fascinating.

**Rating/Warning:** M (for language, violence, sexual content – let's face it…is it really a Queer as Folk story if it isn't smutty?)

**Summary:** Set in season four, Brian returns from his "vacation" in "Ibiza" to find that Justin didn't live up to his promise of being there when he gets back. After spending days looking for him, the boy randomly turns up, breaks things off with Brian, and Brian soon discovers the reason. However, something isn't right about the entire situation, and Brian is determined to find out the real reason behind Justin's sudden decision to leave him, especially after his promise, especially when Brian needs him more than he's willing to admit.

* * *

"I just want you to know I love you, and I'll be here when you get back."

– Justin (4.07) –

* * *

"Who the fuck is calling me at three in the morning," Debbie Novotny asked in a rather tired and cranky voice as she reached over and flicked on the light beside her bed.

There was a nervous chuckle on the other end and the small clearing of a throat before the caller spoke, "sorry Deb," Justin replied, "I just needed to tell you that I won't be able to come into the diner to work for the next couple of days."

The red head, previously groggy with sleep, sat up a little straighter. "Why? Is something wrong Sunshine? Are you okay?" There was a small tone of panic in her voice because why else would Justin be calling her this early in the morning if there wasn't something wrong?

She noted the pause before he answered and furrowed her eyebrows questionably at the slight tremor she heard in his voice when he spoke again. "Yeah…I'm fine," there was another pause and she heard a faint clicking sound on the other end of the telephone, "um, Brian just sent me an extra ticket to Ibiza. The flight leaves in a few hours; I thought I was going to get your answering machine...so, sorry if I woke you."

"You called me at fucking three in the morning Sunshine to tell me that your "boyfriend" sent you a ticket so he could fuck your brains out while the two of your were out of the country," Deb asked, although there was a slight lightness to her tone that told Justin she wasn't completely upset with him, and then she continued speaking, "anyhow, have fun Sunshine. We can find someone to cover your shifts; give Brian a good smack on the head for me…the one above his shoulders."

"Will do Debbie," Justin laughed, although his surrogate mother noted that there was something a little off about the boy's laughter, "I'll see you soon."

That was the end of the call and Deb merely pondered as to why the bright blond had called her so early in the morning and what was off with him, but before she could come to any serious, or logical, conclusions, sleep once more took over her body and she wouldn't give it another thought…not for another three days at least.

* * *

Brian suppressed a groan as he walked into the diner. His body was still noticeably tired from his days spent in the cancer unit at Johns Hopkins and every inch of his anatomy was screaming at him to go home and rest in the comfort of his bed, but he was Brian Kinney, he didn't take personal days just because he had to fight fucking cancer. Plus, everyone thought that he had been in Ibiza and so he needed to put on a show and act like he had just spent days and nights fucking random, nameless guys until he had passed out…and he wanted to see Justin, although he would never state that desire out loud.

Things for the two of them had been a little rocky before he had left since Justin didn't like the fact that Brian was going on "vacation" without him. Brian, when Justin and he had gotten into the fight at the office, had every intention of breaking things off with him completely then and there because he knew that the after effects of his cancer were going to show and he needed to be alone until he was finally able to be Brian Kinney again, but then that blond little twink had to go and declare that he would be there waiting for him when he got back from whatever binge he needed to go on to get back to normal. Brian had found it difficult in the three plus years to walk away from somebody so devoted to putting up with his bullshit.

As he suspected, he found a few of his…friends (could he actually declare that word to describe Theodore and Melanie?) at the counter of the diner and he sauntered over and slid onto the stool beside the pregnant lesbian and smirked slightly as he caught the tail end of their conversation – something about how Ted wished he was Brian, off in Ibiza screwing whatever piece of ass walked by.

"Unfortunately for you Theodore, you aren't me," Brian said as a way of announcing himself, "so, you're stuck with simply staring at the asses walking by wishing _they_ would fuck you." He reached over and grabbed a piece of fruit off of Mel's plate, earning a jab at his fingers with the fork she was holding. He shot a grin at her, before popping the piece of watermelon into his mouth as he listened to Ted's monotone voice exclaim something about having his boss back, god he was such an ass kisser.

He concocted quick lies to the questions about his trip and the men that he had supposedly fucked, and why he was so pale after being in a place known for its nice weather, and once the two were done asking him questions, the conversation lacked and he shifted a bit uncomfortably in his seat. Brian looked around, his eyes still hidden behind the sunglasses that he had slapped on his face when he had left the loft this morning, and noticed that one of the very specific reasons he had decided to present himself to the diner wasn't there, which was odd. He shook back the sleeve of his jacket and peered at the platinum watch on his wrist; Justin didn't have class for another forty-five minutes and he hadn't been at the loft so Brian had figured that he had either come here for breakfast or had come here to pick up an extra shift, but his bubble butt wasn't anywhere to be seen.

At that moment, Deb came from the back and grabbed up a plate from the order window and carried it over and set it next to the Melanie's already half eaten plate of food. He raised his eyebrows for a moment as he looked at her, wondering how such a tiny woman, albeit a butch lesbian, could stomach so many carbs so early in the day. "I'm feeding two here," she shot at him with a glare before tucking the napkin into her collar and digging greedily into her meal.

"Yes, she is," Debbie said, getting that "proud grandmother" look on her face again before she turned to Brian, "and when did you get back?"

He shrugged, "this morning," he said, not feeling up to another bout of idle chit chat with an audience of only one, "where's Justin?"

The red head stared at him for a moment, "why the fuck are you asking me? Didn't you two come back on the same flight?"

"Normally Deb, I just ignore your crazy banter, you know, I chalk it up to old age and well the pure insanity that must come with being a woman, but for once I'm going to acknowledge it. What in the fuck are you talking about?"

"You flew Sunshine out to Ibiza," she said, placing her hands on her hips and glaring at him, although she was a tad curious as to why the man acted like he didn't seem to remember that fact, "he only called me at three in the fucking morning on Monday to tell me that you sent him a ticket to join him."

"Aw," Ted interrupted, "was it so rainy in Ibiza that Brian needed his wittle Sunshine to brighten his day?"

At that remark, Brian pulled off his sunglasses and glared over at him, pointing a finger, "first off, fuck you. And secondly, what the fuck are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"

Theodore grumbled something inaudible, probably something along the lines of Brian being an asshole, as he climbed off the chair and grabbed his coat, stalking his way sulkily out the door before Brian turned his attention back to Deb to once more question her about what in the world she was talking about. But she beat him to opening his mouth first. "You look like fucking hell Brian," the woman said loudly, peering at him as if he were some creature from outer space, "what in the hell happened to you?"

Realizing that she must have noticed the redness in his eyes and the dark bags lingering under them he shoved the dark glasses over his face. "Excuse me for fucking on my vacation Deb," he sneered as he got off the stool, knowing that they would buy his excuse as to why he look so worn out, "but someone around here has to get laid." With that being his final word, he headed out the door in a huff trying to sort out what exactly had just happened.

He had been an idiot for taking the sunglasses off so easily, especially in Debbie's presence when she was bound to notice something wrong with one of her lost boy's, but then again, he had just been so confused by what she had said. Brian shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. He could feel a headache coming on and as he climbed into his car, he contemplated going into work and worsening the headache or figuring out what the fuck was going on with this Justin situation. He had opted for the latter of the two options before he had even started the engine. Within a few minutes, Brian was a few streets away and once more getting out of his car to see someone he could actually label his friend.

The moment that he opened the door however Mikey looked up and his best friend was around the counter and throwing his arms around him in an attempt at a bone-crushing hug. Michael began to spout off the same questions he had been asked not twenty minutes ago at the diner and he answered them much in the same way that he had there. He was a bit hastier though in answering the interrogation since he had a few questions of his own. Once Mikey had calmed down considerably and was again settled behind the counter, his fingers tracing the edge of an apparently enticing comic, Brian rested his elbows against it and took the sunglasses off and tucked them into his pocket, pinching the bridge of his nose, willing the growing headache to go away.

"Jesus Brian, you –" Michael started.

"Look like hell, I know; you're mother already informed me. Can we just skip past that? I need to talk to you about something."

"'Kay...shoot."

Brian came out with it immediately, and rather bluntly, "where the fuck is Justin? And do not tell me that I should know because we were just on the same flight together."

Michael opened his mouth to say something, thought about it, closed his mouth, thought again, and opened his mouth once more, before repeating this process three more times.

"You look like a fucking fish Michael; answer me," Brian snapped, frustrated at his friend's silence.

His best friend shrugged at him as he closed the comic book on the counter and scooped it up to tuck it back into its protective packaging, "I don't know Brian. The last time I saw Justin was Sunday. Ma told us on Monday morning that you had sent him a ticket to join you in Ibiza."

The brunette sighed, "I never sent Justin a plane ticket. I haven't even talked to Justin since before I left."

"Oh good, so it wasn't just me you neglected to call."

Brian rolled his eyes and stepped away from the counter, "not right now Mikey," he said with a small groan, "all I care about is figuring out where the fuck Justin is."

Michael raised his eyebrows at Brian. He had accepted some time ago that Brian cared about Justin, hell, after a while, it was hard, even for him, not to care about the little brat, but this one of the few times where his friend showed just how much he cared about the artist. "Why? Did somebody miss his Sunshine? Does Brian Kinney need a welcome home fuck," he teased.

"Fuck," Brian shouted suddenly, turning away from his friend and lashing out at one of the racks of comics, making it spin wildly, releasing a few of its contents, "why can nobody be fucking serious for one minute around here?"

The raven haired man shot a glare at him as he came out from behind the register to gather his precious collectables, grumbling something unheard as he did so. As he stuffed them back into their appropriate spots, Michael looked over his shoulder at Brian and shrugged for the second time that morning. "I don't know where he is Brian. He probably just went to class early; or maybe he went to see Daphne, or his Mom, or Lindsay and Mel." Mikey was merely rattling off a list of possibilities for his friend since he really didn't have much of an answer for him.

Frustration consumed the ad-exec and he curled and uncurled his hands into fists as he tried to calm himself, reminding himself that not everyone in his dysfunctional family seemed to catch on to things as quickly as he did. "If that were the case Mikey," he said, struggling to keep his voice even, "then why in the fuck haven't you seen him in four days and why in the fuck did he call your mother at three in the god damn morning to lie to her saying that I asked him to join me on vacation?"

Michael had no answer to that question.

* * *

"Are we sure that Brian isn't just putting on some big production to cover up the fact that he fucked up with Justin again," Ted asked before gulping down some of his water.

Michael shoved a spear of pancakes into his mouth as he furiously shook his head. "No," he protested through the food, "Brian didn't fuck up again. Justin is just gone. He won't answer his phone and nobody's heard from him since he called my mother. I think Brian's really freaked out about it."

"What am I really freaked out about," asked the very person they had been speaking about as he slid into the booth, scrunching Michael closer to Ben in the process.

"Justin's disappearance," Emmett said, unabashedly, "or as I suspect, Justin getting away from you for a few days because you ran off on a fuck crazy spree vacation without him."

"Well personally I just think you screwed up royally with him again and that's why you're making such a big deal over this because you don't want to admit that you couldn't be what Justin wanted…again," Ted said nonchalantly, flashing a sardonic smile towards the brunette who's eyes lowered in a menacing glare.

Debbie sauntered over with a pot of coffee and a mug placing it down in front of Brian, her hand falling to her hip in the way that it always did when she was about to say something that she specifically wanted to be heard. "Well it's a damn good thing that neither of your cynical view points are important," she started, causing Brian to smirk, because for once she wasn't laying into him, "now Brian may be many things, and a horrible boyfriend and an asshole are a few," the smirk faded, "but he's not a liar. If he says that Sunshine wasn't with him, then Sunshine wasn't with him. So you two need to stop doubting him and maybe try helping him because in the end you should be worried about Justin and why the fuck he lied to me about where he was going and why."

The table was silent once the redhead closed her mouth, and Brian merely brought the cup of coffee to his mouth, grimacing slightly at the taste because not many things were appealing to him since his surgery. Everyone else, however, was too wrapped up in their own thoughts and feelings of guilt to really notice anything. Brian, looking from face to face, decided that he really didn't want to stick around for whatever crazy plan of action his friends were going to concoct.

"You know, I actually think I have a bit of work to catch up on," he said as an unnecessary excuse as he slid back out of the booth and started for the door.

Michael paused and stared questioningly at his best friend's back retreating out the door, "it is Saturday…Brian never works on Saturday."

* * *

Brian pulled the gate of the lift up with a small grimace from the effort and sighed as he stepped onto the floor that held his loft. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he worked the lock on his door. The brunette was tired. Not only had he just had to undergo a fucking procedure that removed one of his balls, but he had to come home to absolutely nothing.

He shouldn't have been as upset as he was; Brian had known that in the long run of this little problem of his, Justin would end up leaving him, but he hadn't expected it to be this soon, especially after Justin had specifically told him that he would be here, waiting for Brian to get back after getting whatever it was out of his system. Yet, clearly, something had changed in the time that he was gone.

Stepping inside, he shut the door with a sigh and immediately started for the liquor that he had been finding more and more comfort in since his return. But, before he could get to the familiar bottle of Jim Beam, the sound of someone shuffling behind the dividers separating the bedroom from the rest of the loft distracted him.

Curiously confused, Brian headed over, trudging up the few steps to the raised area, but stopped the minute he caught sight of the person moving around. "Justin?"

The blond, who had been pulling clothes from hangers and shoving them into a duffle bag paused at the sound of his name, but kept his head down.

Silence hung between the two men, neither one of them moving. Brian was searching for something to say, and Justin was pleading internally that the brunette didn't speak. And once he was certain that Brian was going to wait for him to say something he turned back to the closet and once again started to pull things from it.

"Going somewhere…again," Brian asked, finally finding his voice, watching as Justin irritatingly threw the current article of clothing in his hand into the bag. He really didn't want to talk. "Are you just going to act like an immature teenager or are you actually going to speak to me?"

That definitely got under the younger man's skin. Justin finally looked over at him and for a moment Brian had to do a double take because the skin around his right eye was swollen and tinted in various shades of blue and purple.

He instantly crossed the distance between him and the boy and gingerly touched his chin, tilting his head so that he could get a better look at the damage. "What the hell happened," Brian blatantly asked.

"Got into a fight," Justin murmured shrugging away from him and stalking off to the bathroom.

For a moment Brian stood there. Rarely, even if it wasn't a sexual touch, did the blond ever shrug his hand away. In fact, the only time that he had really ever done that was when he was seeing that stupid fiddler. He blanched at that thought before stalking after him, leaning against the door frame as he watched him hastily grab his things.

"So, where were you?"

No answer.

"Why did you leave?"

Again, no answer.

"Why did you tell everyone you were with me?"

Brian waited, and huffed when once more, Justin didn't respond to his question. He actually had to bite his tongue a little before he started fuming, however, he couldn't completely hold back his temper. "Will you tell me what the fuck is going on?"

Finally, Justin decided to speak. "What is this? An interrogation? Do I need to call my lawyer?" He stomped passed Brian rather childishly and shoved his toiletries into the duffle, zipped it shut, and shouldered it.

He began to head for the door, but Brian was hardly through with him and so he followed, covering the other man's hand when he made a move to yank open the front door to leave. The brunette noted how defeated the sigh sounded and how instantaneously Justin's shoulders dropped at Brian's last attempt at getting him to stop and talk, to explain what was going on.

"Why can't you just let me leave," the blond inquired quietly, his voice shaking noticeably.

"Tell me why you're leaving and I'll let you go." Brian didn't want to answer like that. He didn't want Justin to go, no matter what his reason was, but their relationship, as it had been when Ethan had entered the picture, was one where both of them were free to leave whenever they wanted to. But, he had just thought after all of the stuff that had happened with that…_thing_…Justin would have wanted nothing other than to stay with Brian.

Hesitation leaked from the blond and he remained facing the door, his head was once again bent for the second time since Brian had gotten home, and he seemed to have found something fascinating to stare at on the floor.

"I can't do it anymore."

Justin's voice was so quiet that Brian could barely hear the words coming out of his mouth, but at the same time, they seemed to scream volumes to the brunette. He started to open his own mouth to ask him what he meant by that but it seemed that the blond had felt the need to explain.

"I know that I said I was okay with you leaving," he started, "but I can't get your voice out of my head, screaming at me that I'm not your _husband_. You said that as if it were the ugliest word in the world. I can't be in a relationship where the only thing in it that you actually care about is the sex."

Brian wanted to protest. Surely by now Justin had to know that their relationship was far more than sex to him. The boy knew where he stood when it came to marriage - the jacked up hetero ritual. So why was he once again putting it into question? Things were good for them. Okay, so maybe he had just taken off but he had a legitimate reason for that, even if he didn't feel that he could share it with anyone. When Brian had left for "Ibiza" he had thought that Justin was really okay with him going, that things would be fine when he got back as long as the truth behind his departure was kept a secret from him.

Once more, he was going to open his mouth and say something when Justin once again spoke, and this time, what he said, Brian was definitely certain he had never, would never, desire to hear it.

"I should have stayed with Ethan."

And just like that, Justin was gone and Brian was standing there, staring at the place that his partner had just been standing. He wanted to believe that there was something wrong about the blonde's sudden decision to leave him but he just felt numb. Brian had thought that finding out he had to get a testicle removed had been hard, but to be told that Justin thought that coming back to him had been a mistake had hit him harder than he wanted it to.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, but it seemed that his feet couldn't find the will to move. This had to be a joke. Justin didn't just walk out on him.

Still, no matter how long he stood there he was alone.

Justin was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I do not own any of the characters in this story. I just merely used my warped brain to twist it around to create something that _I_ at least find fascinating.

**Rating/Warning:** M (for language, violence, sexual content – let's face it…is it really a Queer as Folk story if it isn't smutty?)

**Summary:** Set in season four, Brian returns from his "vacation" in "Ibiza" to find that Justin didn't live up to his promise of being there when he gets back. After spending days looking for him, the boy randomly turns up, breaks things off with Brian, and Brian soon discovers the reason. However, something isn't right about the entire situation, and Brian is determined to find out the real reason behind Justin's sudden decision to leave him, especially after his promise, especially when Brian needs him more than he's willing to admit.

**Special Thanks:** To the wonderful people that reviewed. I am a review whore. They keep me motivated to write more. …Even if you all hate me for what I did at the end of the last chapter, trust me, by the end of this one, you'll probably hate me even more.

* * *

He had just wanted a turkey sandwich. That was it. Brian hadn't been able to keep anything down, not that he had eaten really much of anything, since his first round of chemotherapy, but Ted had once more suggested that he go home and rest up rather than stay at work. He had figured he would stop by the diner, get a turkey sandwich, and put it in the refrigerator in case he could even think of stomaching it later.

He had just wanted a turkey sandwich…he could have done without the floor show.

* * *

Wait a minute, let's rewind here. …Not that there is much to rewind on since it seemed that since watching the blond disappear out of his loft, and apparently his life, Brian merely seemed to be going through the motions. He followed the same routine each day that followed – or at least a routine that seemed to fit the cancer recovering Brian Kinney.

For the time being, he had only taken to alcohol because the doctors had advised him to lay easy on his normal party favors, and after going in for his first session, even a cigarette made him nauseous, so the drugs were gone, and the booze was highly limited.

Brian had been avoiding Babylon for the very reason that he couldn't simply be the man that he had built himself up to be.

And there was no sex. None. This was the longest that Brian had gone without fucking someone since he had lost his virginity. However, the worst part about the no sex thing was that there wasn't anyone around to consistently press the issue of getting into his pants. Because there was no Justin.

Why nobody had noticed the change in Brian's behavior since his return from "vacation," since Justin had left him, was beyond him. Were his friends really that oblivious? Or were they too afraid to mention something to him in fear of getting their head bit off by him…which they would if they said anything.

Actually, Brian had kind of been biting everyone's head of for no specific reason. He had snapped at Emmett for wearing pink leather pants. He had yelled four or five times at Ted because he hadn't knocked on the office door before coming in while Brian was doing absolutely nothing. The brunette had chewed Michael a new asshole for flicking through a comic book while he was preoccupied with a cigarette. Hell, he had even gotten angry with Ben for being so damn calm all of the time.

They were all beginning to avoid him, having come to the silent agreement that they needed to give Brian the space to cool down. After all, they all knew how he could get whenever the blond wasn't in his life for long periods of time. None of them, however, knew the truth of what had actually happened. They just knew that things between the two men had ended.

It wasn't as if they hadn't tried. Emmett and Ted had only mentioned Justin once since the split and after the way that Brian had reacted to that, neither had dared to even speak about anything that could even be related to the kid. Michael had pushed a little more, and Brian had been a little gentler with him, yet he just simply told him that it was a mutual parting of ways. And nobody, besides Brian – and Debbie when he came into the diner to pick up a few shifts – had seen Justin since the day before he called Michael's mother with the lie about going off to spend time with Brian.

In short, Brian and Justin had only been apart for a little over a week and things were tense with everything concerning the two of them. That was always the worst part of their breakups: when they happened, everyone had to walk on eggshells because everyone was involved.

* * *

Brian had been so affected by the follow up treatment for the cancer that he had broken down and told Ted why he was as tired and as exhausted as he was. Surprisingly, for as cruel as the brunette had been to the other man, Theodore was rather kind in response to the shocking news. He had suggested several times that Brian go home at lunch to rest rather than continue the work day.

It had been rather affective actually, besides the same empty feeling he got every time he walked into the loft and there was no one there to greet him.

It had been rather affective, until he had decided that he might decide to try to feed the hunger that wasn't there.

He knew that Justin had been picking up the shifts at the diner when he knew that Brian would be too busy to stop by, and none of his friends ever mentioned if they saw him there so he assumed the blond was avoiding them as well, which only further raised the question as to why Justin had walked out of the loft.

But, as stated, Ted's advice of leaving early so that he could rest and regain his strength, had been affective, until Brian had decided to change one little thing up.

And the reason for Justin's departure became painfully obvious.

No sooner had he stepped into the diner then his eyes, after years of reluctant habit, fell onto a very familiar blond, one that he hadn't seen since his bubble butt had walked away from him. And what he saw was definitely not something that was going to aid in his recovery.

Justin was leaning across the counter – it could be said that he was practically lying on the counter top – his arms were propped against the table top for leverage, a slightly dirtied wash cloth in one hand signifying that he had been caught in the middle of his job. There was a hand gripping onto the back of his neck, holding him in place as a set of lips, which were disappointingly not Brian's, mauled his.

Here was the one person that Brian had ever dared to trust with his heart, the one person that Brian had honored with the title of being his partner, blatantly making out in a place that had always "been" Brian's.

Brian had felt this sting before. It had been at the Rage party when he had spotted Justin kissing Ethan, when Justin had walked away from him, had chosen someone else over him. He didn't blame Justin then. He couldn't. He had every right to do that, and Brian had been surprised that it hadn't happened sooner. And he couldn't blame Justin now. After all, the blond didn't even know he had cancer but it seemed that he had managed to detect the fact that Brian Kinney was no longer perfect.

A few of the customers were staring at the two boys. Most of them wore looks of amusement, and a few others actually seemed a little perturbed by the open display. But the couple didn't seem to notice the fact that they had an audience, especially an audience with one specific member.

The two of them didn't even seem as if they needed oxygen because they almost seemed unable to pull away from each other. However, the two of them broke apart when they were startled by the sudden loud clatter of a dish dropping onto the counter top right beside them.

"Will you two stop fucking doing that," Deb snapped at them, "this is a diner. People come here to eat, not to watch the two of you foreplay. If I fucking catch you doing it again, I'm kicking your ass out of here Cody." The red head pointed a menacing finger at the boy opposite of Justin, who feigned a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry Debbie."

Michael's mother, bless her soul, glared at him and snapped once more. "It's Mrs. Novotny to you." With those final words, she turned back and began working once more.

Cody? Why did Brian recognize that name? He searched his brain for a moment before it hit him. It wasn't too long ago that he had finally stopped hearing that name being thrown around his loft like the owner of it was some sort of fucking god. Cody Bell was that dumbass who had started that vigilante group – the Pink Posse – that had turned out to be more for his benefit of getting his rocks off with violence.

Brian hadn't exactly minded the guy at first, but when Justin had come home with bruises, and eventually a gun, courtesy of said numbnuts asshole, he had definitely found it in his heart to put this guy on his shit list. And now, he had moved to the top five most hated.

The brunette blinked a few times, watching the small exchange after the red head had broken them apart. He noticed that it was mostly Cody talking, his eyes lit up with a look that Brian had seen many times on men's faces when speaking to the blond – suggestion – and he frowned at the way Justin dipped his head slightly, a small, shy smile on his face.

Normally, Justin was so confident, verging on cocky, when he was being hit on by guys (Brian had taught him well) but this, this was something different. It was clear that the two of them shared something that was more than just the friendship, or even the one night fuck or fool around that Brian had suspected. So why had Justin suddenly seemed so timid at whatever words were coming out of the other boy's mouth?

Brian wasn't aware that several people had come and gone since he had walked in; his eyes had been too focused on the car crash in front of him – it was something so horrid, but he couldn't help but watch. And even more unbeknown to him, was that a certain redhead had caught sight of him and was staring at him with eyes filled with pity.

Debbie had known. Emmett knew. Ted. Lindsay, Mel, hell, even Michael had known about Cody; the guy had been coming in every single time that Justin had a shift and had latched his lips onto the blonde's like there was no tomorrow. Because as good at Justin had been at avoiding Brian, avoiding everyone else had been a tad trickier and in nine days, he had slipped up with everyone, except Brian.

That was until now.

From the look on his face, the eccentric woman knew that nobody had gotten up the nerve to tell Brian about Justin's new boyfriend, even though Michael had promised he would say something (she would have to smack him upside the head for not doing that when she saw him later).

Nobody was happy about it and that was blatantly obvious. Debbie was the most daring out of the group, showing her disgust for the open displays of affection. Normally, she was the first one to tell Sunshine when to walk away from the older man that he had fallen for at such a tender age, but she had seen their workings and realized that nobody was more perfect together than the two of them. That wasn't to say she hadn't been expecting fights and melodramatic break ups, this was Brian and Justin she was talking about, but she had never expected either one of them to move on to someone else, not after everything that had happened with that musician.

Yet none of them had directly stepped in to ask Justin about it because they had absolutely no idea what had happened with him and Brian. He wasn't talking. But then again, most of them couldn't find it in them to talk to him because none of them, even Mikey, liked seeing him with someone that wasn't Brian.

Justin had been doing rather well at dodging anything that involved the infamous Kinney, but Deb knew that at one point, if this relationship continued with this Cody Bell character, he was going to have to face the music eventually. And, in her authoritative decision, she decided that time was now.

"Hey Justin," she called, she hadn't called him Sunshine out loud since the lie he had concocted – she still had yet to forgive him for that – "we need a turkey sandwich, no mayo…for Brian."

Brian had been shaken from his gaze and Justin had looked over at Debbie when she addressed him, and a slight smirk touched the corner of her lips for a split second when she noticed the boy's complexion pale considerably and startled blue eyes flicked to the entrance of the diner immediately.

The brunette was staring between the two of them. He was silent cursing the woman for announcing his presence rather than letting him have a clean, undignified, cowardly getaway, but at the same time, he thanked her for forcing him to have the guts to face Justin after that display. Brian gave a small nod to the redhead before turning his head back to his boyfri…ex boyfriend.

Neither the blond nor the brunette moved from the spot they were in. The two of them just stared at each other.

A slightly shaken look could easily be read across Justin's features, but Brian kept his face completely void of any emotion. Slowly, the brunette took a step, and then another, and then another until his feet carried him to the counter beside Cody who was staring between the two of them intently, and rather furiously since his boyfriend's gaze had not left the former love of his life since he became aware of his presence.

Justin swallowed. He should have told him. He should have told Brian that he was leaving to be with Cody. Didn't he at least owe the man that? But he had been too much of a chicken shit to say it and instead had opted for the cop out of blaming his leaving on Brian's behavior.

What was he supposed to say?

Was there anything to say?

Would Brian even listen?

"What are you? A statue," Brian said, watching as Justin blinked furiously, coming out of whatever daze he had been in to realize that the brunette had been speaking to him.

Justin's eyebrows rose a little in that cute sort of way that Brian secretly adored whenever the boy experienced a moment of confusion, "huh?" Those lips parted, those luscious lips, and made the tiniest sound geared towards Brian and he felt his heart flutter a little to once again hear his voice.

Okay, yes, so Brian Kinney was a fucking closet romantic when it came to Justin Taylor, but nobody would ever know the thoughts or the feelings that seemed to spring into his mind whenever the boy was in his presence.

"Deb told you to get my sandwich. I'd like it to go. Now move your ass." Brian was trying to sound as bland as possible, but even he couldn't mask the cold edge his voice held. Justin may be damn attractive, and he may have the brightest eyes, and the most contagious smile, and the sweetest laughter, and the best ass that Brian had ever encountered, but that didn't mean that he was happy. No he was far from it.

He had just walked in on the very reason his partner had left him. A reason that Justin apparently couldn't man up enough to tell him. Was he supposed to be a ray of fucking sunshine?

…He fucking hated turkey sandwiches.

* * *

Justin had flinched at the intonation of Brian's voice when he had demanded that he get him the food, but he had merely ducked his head and turned to make the appointed sandwich. However, the abnormally loud sound of the bell tinkling above the door and the coldest burst of wind Justin ever swore he felt came and he knew that when he would turn back around to hand the brunette his order, he wouldn't be there. And surely enough, Brian was gone. But Cody remained. Of course Cody remained. Cody was always there. And Cody didn't look happy.

Thankfully, the blonde's shift was meant to be over in ten minutes so he had bustled around the diner filling it in with busy work, feeling the intense burning glare of his current boyfriend the entire time. And what was even better was the moment that he was done with this shift, he was to take off for class.

Somehow, out of pure luck maybe, Cody was gone two minutes before the end of his work day, but Justin didn't bother to stop and ponder why. Here was his chance. He had been trying for over a week to find a way to get up the courage to explain things to his ex, and now that Brian knew and he no longer had to worry about that bomb, he could go and attempt to set things straight, although he knew that it would do no good and Brian would still probably hate him, but Justin had a hard time letting go.

Grabbing the abandoned turkey sandwich, Justin placed it in a to-go box and said good bye to Deb before heading out.

He wasn't going to class. That was for certain. There was rarely a moment anymore when he wasn't with Cody (the only times really being when Cody was working himself or Justin was in class) and Justin was going to take complete advantage of that.

The first stop was Kinnetik. When he walked in, he noticed that everyone there seemed a bit more relaxed. People were lazily moving about the office, rather than diligently buzzing to and fro. Slightly taken aback by this new air in the building, he approached Cynthia's desk cautiously and watched the woman raise her head. Thankfully she offered him a smile, albeit a rather stiff one.

"Do you have an appointment Mr. Taylor," she cooed coldly.

Justin sighed. He should have expected that. No doubt Ted had filled the woman in on all the gossip that he knew Brian was unwilling to admit existed and she was definitely a loyal employee to Brian.

"I just wanted to bring him his sandwich," he said rather more meekly than he intended, raising the white Styrofoam container as evidence, "he didn't take it with him when he left the diner."

Cynthia peered at him curiously as if trying to deduce the real reason as to why he was here and Justin felt him shift his messenger bag on his shoulder feeling a tad uncomfortable. The assistant noticed and she felt a small pang of sympathy in her heart for the boy.

She liked Justin. Brian was ten times more pleasant when Justin was around. The two of them were good together and horrible apart. And in the years she had known him, she had seen Justin turn from a slightly timid teenager into a kinder, softer replica of Brian. He never would have been so nervous if there wasn't something serious going on. She would have liked to have continued her cold demeanor but she just didn't have the heart.

Sucking her lips in for a moment, hesitating before finally deciding on the right course of action she flicked her eyes back at the boss' door. "He's not in," Cynthia told him, "he took the afternoon off. …He's been doing that lately; Ted's been taking over for him, he mentioned something the first day about Brian feeling a bit under the weather."

Justin paused. Brian was sick? Brian never got sick. Okay, well, Justin had seen him sick before; the sniffles, colds here and there, and the flu once, but Brian was stubborn when it came to illness and all he would merely do was chug a bottle of medicine in the bathroom before going on his merry way. Brian never took off work because he was sick.

He mumbled a broken thanks to the woman before hurrying quickly out of the office. Was Brian really sick? Or was it some excuse for something that Justin probably didn't want to know about? …Whatever the reason, Justin had to know.

And that was how he ended up at the loft, how he ended up pounding a shaking fist on the metal door.

If Brian hadn't come in to the damn diner then this entire confrontation could have been put off until Justin was ready to deal with it.

…He fucking hated turkey sandwiches.

* * *

**Author's Note:** -hides- Please don't kill me. This horrid relationship of Justin and Cody has a purpose…I swear.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I do not own any of the characters in this story. I just merely used my warped brain to twist it around to create something that _I_ at least find fascinating.

**Rating/Warning:** M (for language, violence, sexual content – let's face it…is it really a Queer as Folk story if it isn't smutty?)

**Summary:** Set in season four, Brian returns from his "vacation" in "Ibiza" to find that Justin didn't live up to his promise of being there when he gets back. After spending days looking for him, the boy randomly turns up, breaks things off with Brian, and Brian soon discovers the reason. However, something isn't right about the entire situation, and Brian is determined to find out the real reason behind Justin's sudden decision to leave him, especially after his promise, especially when Brian needs him more than he's willing to admit.

**More Thanks:** To all of those wonderful people that have reviewed. I love knowing that you guys are into the story, so please, keep reading, reviewing, and I promise to try to get the chapters up ASAP.

* * *

Justin stared at the form that had answered the door after several minutes of continuous knocking. When he had seen him at the diner, the blond had refrained from looking him over, knowing that if he did that then his emotions would betray him and Brian would know that whatever had happened between them wasn't really Justin's ideal plan and Cody would have no doubt noticed and he would have had to suffer for it later.

But he still hadn't thought that Brian Kinney, of all people, could ever get into a state like this, because, honestly, he looked like shit.

What was normally bronzed skin, was pale, and while Brian didn't tend to get the best of sleep (with his life style) he had always managed to hide the bags under his eyes, but upon further inspection, Justin noted that they were puffier and darker than the brunette would generally allow. Plus, his eyes were slightly bloodshot, and if the blond didn't know any better, he would have pointed these things out.

Justin managed to pull himself from his worried thoughts of his former lover's appearance when he realized that the aforementioned person was speaking.

"Go. Away."

Justin hadn't really expected anything less. He knew that Brian was probably perturbed at the fact that he had clearly been left for someone else – again – but somehow, Justin still couldn't bring himself to believe that the reason the older man was so bothered by it was because of any feelings he might have for the artist. Instead, he simply brushed it off as Brian being annoyed with the fact that he hadn't been told the exact reason of his departure.

"You didn't take your sandwich," Justin said a bit lamely as he held up the Styrofoam container.

With raised eyebrows, Brian glanced at the box and then at the blond, "the diner delivers now?"

The blond couldn't find a way to answer that so he just stared at the brunette expectantly, making certain he understood that he wasn't leaving until he took the sandwich. After all, he had made the trip across town to bring it to him.

Brian, noting the defiance in the boy's stance let out a small sigh before taking the container from him and turning to take it to the counter. He had been trying to get a bit of sleep when Justin had so rudely decided to just show up on his doorstep and he really just wanted to get back to the inviting comfort of his bed so he could rid himself of the pounding in his head and the growing feeling of nausea in his stomach.

However, it seemed that taking the offered sandwich was an invitation for Justin to come in because behind him he heard the sound of his door being slid shut and while he hoped that it meant that he had just been courteous and closed it for him so that he could be left alone, he could feel Justin's eyes staring into his back.

"It's awfully rude to come into a person's home uninvited," he commented, not bothering to turn around.

Justin opened his mouth as if to point out that it wasn't just his home, but then he remembered, he didn't live there anymore. "I thought that maybe we should talk," he said a bit apprehensively.

A small smirk flitted across his face and he turned to face the other man in the room and shrugged, he had to keep up the Brian Kinney façade as best as he could. "You know me Justin; I'm not one for idle chit chat. If you want to fuck you know where the bed is." He knew very well that Justin hadn't come here to fuck and there wouldn't be any fucking during what he hoped was a very short visit, especially since any sexual intercourse at the moment wasn't actually a welcomed idea in Brian's mind.

"You know that's not what I meant," Justin said, a slight agitation to the words, making Brian's smirk widen even more. There was the man that he had created; not the poor excuse for one that walked around with his tail between his legs because he might hurt somebody's feelings. "I want to talk about what you saw at the diner."

Brian's eyes widened in feigned realization, "oh," he exaggerated, "that." He paused and then his expression fell and he shrugged indifferently. "So you've got yourself a new play toy; what do I care?" He started to head back towards the bedroom but paused and turned, looking at Justin with a rather cruel look. "Just one question…were you fucking him before or after you decided to call things off?" After all, he had been fucking the fiddler before he had made the decision to leave; who's to say that this time wasn't any different?

The brunette left him with that before he went to the bed and collapsed on the mattress, burying his face in the pillow, shutting his eyes tight, begging for sleep. He waited, and waited, and waited for the sound of the front door opening and closing but it never came. So, with a small, inaudible sigh, he turned his head and cracked his eyes open and surely enough, Justin invaded his vision, standing there, waiting for his attention.

"What part of go away did you not get," he groaned before turning his head the other way to try to clearly show that he didn't want the blond there.

But, Justin lifted his messenger bag off his shoulder and placed it on the floor before crawling onto the bed beside Brian. "What's wrong," he asked quietly.

Swallowing, Brian slowly turned his head back and looked at the blond that was looking down at him from the kneeling position he had settled into. There was such genuine concern in his eyes that for a split second, he nearly blurted out that he was here, lying in bed because he had cancer, that he hadn't really gone to Ibiza, it was an act and Justin shouldn't be mad at him for leaving for a "fuck fest" because there wasn't one, that he needed to come home. But doing that would be worse than verging on the edge of pathetic. If he let anything like that come out of his mouth he may as well sign his death warrant.

"What's wrong is that I have a pestering artist in my bed that doesn't seem to be able to get the hint that I don't want him here."

Ignoring his words, Justin pulled his legs out from beneath him and stretched out beside his ex, propping himself on one elbow. "You never take off work because you're sick," he stated.

"Who said anything about me being sick?"

"Ted, who told Cynthia, who told me when I stopped by your office earlier; you've been leaving work early for the past few days because you haven't been feeling well. And frankly, you look like complete and utter hell. So there has to be something wrong and I'm not leaving here until you tell me."

Brian didn't answer him. Fucking gossips; he expected it from Ted, although he had to wonder if he had told Cynthia the real reason Brian had been feeling under the weather, but if Justin hadn't brought it up then he assumed that he had at least kept that part a secret.

He didn't know how to answer it though. Justin was right; Brian knew that he looked like shit and he knew that he didn't take work off for just anything, especially not a petty illness. So it was either fess up, or lie his ass off.

About to open his mouth to try to pull something out of thin air, he paused when he felt the bed shift once more and felt Justin settle himself on the back of his thighs, one leg on either side of Brian. "What are you doing," he asked, turning his head the best he could to try to look at the boy.

His question was answered when he felt the boy's hands on his back begin to press and knead against his shoulders. For a moment, Brian wondered why Justin was doing this – didn't he have a boyfriend that needed his attention – but then he got lost in the feeling of his hands and the way his fingers worked so tenderly, yet firmly, against the tense muscles. Justin always did have the best hands.

Silence fell between the two men as the one on top continued to massage the one beneath him. Brian's torso began to relax under Justin's touch and his eyes fluttered shut. Rarely, if ever, did the two of them usually do something so caring. Justin may have been the most intimate relationship Brian had ever been in but this still had never been a part of it. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to protest to the rather lesbian action because for a moment, it felt like Justin was there solely for him, to please his every desire, as was generally the case with Justin when it came to Brian; it felt like they were still together. And while there was that gnawing voice in the back of his head telling him that this was all a sham, an illusion, and soon enough the blond would be abandoning him for the new toy model, he profusely ignored it because this ignorant bliss was actually making him feel better.

Justin's ministrations never faltered as his hands worked his shoulders, his neck, his back, and even dared to massage the strip of skin that was visible to Justin just between the wife beater that had bunched up slightly and the waistband of his jeans. Alright, so they hesitated a bit there but only because whenever he had been playful in the past and had wanted to let Brian know that he was in the mood – this generally happened whenever the brunette happened to be lounging about – he would drag his tongue over the displayed skin and look up with a slight smirk and a hint of innocence he still held in his eyes.

His tongue darted out to lick his lips, desperate to get a taste of Brian's skin again but the sudden sound of a knock at the loft door stopped his hands and drew his attention. And then suddenly, as if a big flashing neon sign had told him what he was doing, he scrambled off of the body beneath him knowing that it was stupid of him to do that, and increasingly unfair to Brian.

The knock sounded again as Justin hastily shouldered the bag again.

Brian didn't even bother to stop and ask why Justin was suddenly rushing off; it wasn't his place anymore to know the blonde's business. However, he was curious as to who was knocking on his door in the early afternoon because everyone, other than Justin clearly, should have been working.

So, when Justin opened the door, Brian propped himself up and looked over trying to catch a glimpse of who was seeking his attention at such an odd time.

"Cody?"

Hearing that name come out of Justin's lips got Brian curious; what in the hell was the boy's new boyfriend doing at_ his_ loft? He didn't move from his bed though; he remained on the mattress only glancing over at the entrance over his shoulder.

If Brian was confused as to why Cody was there, that didn't even begin to describe the look on Justin's face. What in the hell was Cody doing here? How did he know Justin was here? Had he been following him?

"This is an interesting place to have class," Cody commented, folding his arms over his chest and staring at his boyfriend with an accusatory glare.

Justin's eyes flickered towards the floor and he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. He figured that Cody would break his silence with a nasty comment or remark, but no, he was just standing there, waiting for whatever Justin was going to say. And the blond knew that if he opened his mouth, whatever he said was going to sound like a pathetic excuse and the response that he would get would be ten times worse.

"I brought Brian's sandwich over," he said quietly, slowly raising his head to meet Cody's eyes.

"If Brian wanted the sandwich he would have stuck around to take it from you when he asked for it. Do you want another shot at explaining yourself?"

It had been a while since he felt like a meek high school boy, afraid of being himself because of what others might think of him. In fact, the last person to make him feel like that had been Chris Hobbs. At that moment, Justin just wanted to retreat into a shell and not come out until the heated gaze was taken off of him and nobody was paying any attention to any movement he made.

"I thought he deserved an explanation," he whispered, "I didn't tell him about us when I left."

Cody paused for a moment before tilting his head to the side, "and how did he take it;" it was like he knew that he wasn't going to get an answer to that question.

Justin hesitated in answering him once more, because at that moment he realized that he hadn't exactly done what he had set out to do when he left the diner. He hadn't explained anything to Brian at all. Cody hadn't even been brought up. The two of them had only shared a few words and they were about Brian and his well being.

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Cody took his silence for exactly what it was. Shaking his head, his jaw tightened and his fists clenched slightly. He opened his mouth a few times as if trying to find something to say but the anger bubbling inside of him kept him holding onto his tongue.

From his place on the bed, Brian watched with growing curiosity. He could barely hear half of what was going on, mostly on Justin's side because he was talking so quietly, but all he could really be certain of was that Cody wasn't happy. And how could he be? The kid was at his ex's house, someone that he hadn't been able to resist for almost four years now. As much as Brian hated to admit it, Cody had every right to be mad at Justin for being over here.

With a huff, Cody finally spoke, "c'mon, let's go," he said impatiently motioning for Justin to step outside the loft while already taking a few steps towards the stairs.

Justin shot a longing look over his shoulder that he made sure Brian caught before following the other man out, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Justin stumbled slightly as he came through the door of the small apartment that he and Cody shared and the stumble wasn't of his own accord but more due to the fact that Cody had shoved him roughly through the door. The anger continued to radiate from his new boyfriend as the sound of the door slamming shut made Justin wince slightly.

The entire walk from Brian's loft to their apartment had been torturous. Not a single word was spoken between the two of them but Justin had felt the cold glare from Cody the entire time. He knew that when they got home that he was going to get laid into.

And surely enough, a moment after he had set his school bag down and turned to look at his boyfriend he took a hard right hook to his jaw.

"You're a fucking whore Justin," Cody spat. "Why don't you just fucking own up to it? You went back to your precious Brian so he could fuck you!"

Justin was cradling his tender jaw, his eyes narrowed slightly at the man across from him before he spit out a mouthful of blood – the blow having forced him to bite his tongue rather hard.

Cody glared back at him for a moment, waiting for him to defend himself, say anything to counter what he had just yelled at him for, but Justin remained silent, knowing that no matter what he did or said he wasn't going to change his mind.

Angered by the silence, Cody once again lifted his hand to hit him, but froze when he noticed how Justin coiled away from him. A sadistic smirk settled over his lips. "Are you afraid of me Justin," he asked gleefully.

Justin knew that if he answered that honestly then it would only lead to more pain. He had learned long ago, from his days in the Pink Posse, that fear was not something that Cody tolerated. So, he slowly shook his head and lowered his hand from his face.

Cody's blue eyes raked over Justin's own aqua orbs trying to decide if he was lying to him or not before he lowered his hand. "I don't like hitting you Justin," he said softly, reaching over and touching the bruise that was beginning to form on the other man's face, "but you know how I feel about Brian. He's not good for you. He never was. That's why I had to get you away from him, any way that I could."

Justin merely nodded and allowed a grateful look to cloud his eyes. In the time that he had spent with Cody, in this twisted relationship, he had quickly learned that if he wanted to keep from being hit, he agreed with the other man; he was to look at Cody as if he were a god, as if he had all the answers, as if he were Justin's savior.

Justin had also found, in that time, that he was a damn good actor. Because he might have given Cody the looks that he desired, the words that he wanted to hear, but Justin certainly didn't want any of that. He knew what he wanted. But his want for Brian was surpassed by only one thing: his want to protect Brian.

* * *

_Two Weeks Ago…_

_Justin had just bid Emmett good bye at the door of Babylon. After spending the night out with his friend – Ted having left early because of work and Michael having stayed in – and only dancing with a few guys, he had decided that he wasn't much for taking a trick back home for the remainder of the night, even though he knew that Brian would be asking about the guys that he had fucked while he was away._

_In honesty, he hadn't really had much fun in the way of guys since Brian had taken off for Ibiza. The brunette may have thought that they had an arrangement where they were free to screw whoever they wanted as long as they ended up with each other in the end, but Justin wasn't as into it as he let on. He was still bent on romance and while he knew that he wasn't going to get that out of Brian, he was content with what they had at the moment._

_Okay, yes, he was a bit bothered by the fact that Brian had randomly taken off for Ibiza, a trip that the two of them should have taken together, but there had been something a bit off when Brian had told Justin that he was leaving. There was obviously something that he needed to get off his chest and Justin would let him do that. He wasn't going to hold Brian back because he knew that was exactly how he was going to lose him._

_So, during his entire absence, with no phone call or even a pathetic post card from the man, he tried to feign happiness. The reality of it was that he would go home, to the empty loft, and he would consistently dial Brian's number, but not call. The last thing he wanted to do was seem like the old high school boy that he was and pine after him._

_Hence the reason he had gone out tonight and grinded on a few guys, giving a small show for his friends. He had put the smile on his face that he was known for and allowed everyone to think that he could get along just fine without Brian._

_And now he was headed home, so he could drop the façade and once again fall into the act of missing the older man._

_Justin got back to the loft rather quickly, having wanted to escape the inevitable cold that always seemed to settle around Pittsburgh in the earliest hours of the morning no matter what time of year it was._

_He pulled the door shut and began to take off his jacket but before he could do that, a hand had shoved him roughly against the loft's door, and he could feel the end of a gun being shoved against the back of his head. "Long time no see Justin," Cody said roughly in his ear._

_Stiffening slightly at the sound of his voice, Justin tried to get a glimpse of the man that he, in fact, hadn't seen for several months – not since the incident at Chris Hobbs' place when Justin had walked away from him. He had wondered what had happened, briefly, to his friend considering how mad Cody seemed to be at the fact that Justin wasn't able to pull the trigger. But he hadn't really given too much thought to him._

"_Really funny Cody," Justin started, but was quickly cut off by the other guy._

"_This isn't a joke Justin," he said sharply, pressing the gun to his head a little harder, "I want something from you."_

"_Somehow, I don't think holding me at gun point is going to make me give it to you…especially when I know that the guy is empty. You only like scaring people with it."_

_In a flash, Cody had grabbed his arm and twisted him around, shoving him down to the floor. Opening the barrel of the gun, he showed him that it was in fact loaded before closing it and cocking it and pointing it at him again. "Still think I'm bluffing Justin?"_

_Raising his hands, Justin slowly pushed himself off the floor. "Alright, I get it. You're serious. What do you want?"_

"_You."_

_His arms dropped in surprise; he hadn't expected that. "Me? You want me," he questioned, puzzlement creeping across his features._

_In four quick steps, Cody was in front of him and had a hand on each side of Justin's face. He could feel the gun against his ear as he felt the other man's fingers brush over his cheek. "Brian's not good for you. He's just using you, playing with your feelings. We both know that. If he really loved you then he wouldn't have changed your mind. He would have supported you. You wouldn't have walked away from me. …But me. I'm good for you. I taught you how to defend yourself, how to protect yourself. Brian only taught you to be scared."_

_Cody continued to ramble on about how after he was bashed Brian didn't do anything to defend him, how he just let Justin be traumatized by it and afraid of Chris Hobbs before Justin shoved him away. "You are crazy Cody."_

_For a moment, a look crossed Cody's face that flashed nothing but pain at those three words, but then he took a step back and scratched his temple with the tip of the gun. "I was afraid that you would take his side. Big, big mistake Justin. If I can't have you, than neither can he."_

"_So you're going to kill me? Just because you have become certifiably insane?"_

_Cody laughed and shook his head. "I could never kill you Justin. I care about you too much. But I also care too much to let you continue to be a whore to this man." He paused and pointed the gun at a random place on the wall. "It wouldn't take much; just a well aimed bullet to the head. He could be leaving the loft, heading into work, or getting sucked off in the back room by one of his tricks. Just BOOM," he said, jerking his arms back the way they would recoil from pulling the trigger on a gun, "and no more Brian Kinney."_

"_And before you say anything about not letting me Justin, who's going to stop me? The cops? You know those pigs don't give a shit about fags, no matter how important they make themselves out to be. Kinney's little band of misfit friends? Please, like any of them could overpower me. And you certainly can't stop me. You don't even have the guts to pull the trigger and end the life of some low down, good for nothing homophobe who nearly killed you! You're weak; there's no way you could fucking stop me. If I want Brian Kinney dead, then his death warrant is as good as signed." There was a break in his speech once more before he walked back over to the blond that was glaring daggers at him as he leaned in and whispered in his ear, "but you can save him."_


End file.
